Disappointing God

This is somewhat advanced theology. On the other hand, what isn’t?

After my previous post I started thinking that it is actually possible to cause God a disappointment. Let’s take a look at an interesting account in the 1. Samuel 15 (ESV, emphasis mine):

10-11: The word of the LORD came to Samuel: “I regret that I have made Saul king, for he has turned back from following me and has not performed my commandments.”

28-29: “The LORD has torn the kingdom of Israel from you this day and has given it to a neighbor of yours, who is better than you. And also the Glory of Israel will not lie or have regret, for he is not a man, that he should have regret.”

35: And the LORD regretted that he had made Saul king over Israel.

Let it be noted, that in Hebrew all these instances use the same word. Samuels reply is a reference to Numbers 23:19, where Balaam told to the king of Moabites that he could only bless Israel, not curse, because LORD would not change His mind.

So which way is it? Does God regret or not? The answer is of course yes – to both questions. Here’s how I figure it out:

God is by nature transcendent, beyond time and space. As such He knew what Saul would – and would not – do. And Saul did not disappoint Him. Nevertheless Saul was not the kind of King God wanted the king of Israel to be. He wanted to be the king of Israel Himself. He gave them Saul because people begged a king. (1 Sam 8).

Yet I would not say that Saul was doomed to fail in His task. Outside time God at sees everything what happens, whenever that happens. No-one really does anything, because action takes time, but everything just is, like is a still picture. And of course there is no free will visible. In this frame of reference it is impossible to fail Him. And whatever He decides in this frame of reference cannot change, for change needs time, but there is no time.

However, we do not live in that frame  of reference. When we encounter God, it happens where we live, in this time and space of ours. Because we are inside time, we perceive ourselves as having a free will. Therefore it’s fair to say that within this frame of reference free will actually makes a difference, whereas in the transcendent frame of reference it is trivialized. But since we do have a free will – from our own point of view – we are capable of disappointing God.

This is the sense in which God regretted that He had made Saul king. Time after time Saul had failed to be obedient. He feared the men and did not ask advice from the LORD. He even cursed himself with the wrath of God. (14:44). Having chosen Him within time, it was within time that He regretted it. Of course transcendentally He knew He would do so.

The really interesting part is when Saul confesses his sins and begs for forgivness. He is not given back the kingship. We could say that he pushed his luck a straw too long.

The lesson for us is that we must not rely on mercy of God and go sinning. That would be failing Him. Not failing Him is staying put and saying:

Here I am, right now. You do what you want.

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I have never failed God – and He hasn’t failed me.

Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion.

Hebrews 3:7-8

Sometimes it is difficult for me to remember certain times in the past. Not only because there were years so hard that I can really only recall some spliters from here and there. But because remembering many of the other things – those that I can recall – is painful. Ultimately, I think this may just be a matter of degree: the harder the pain, the blanker the memory.

But today I faced a memory from the past. I heard of a person I have not heard in a long time. And looking at how her life has gone – which was no surprice – I suddenly realized something. God has blessed me.

Namely, during the course of my life I could have taken many turns. Looking back, I have given up many opportunuties, due to fear, uncertainity, fatigue, depression, low self-esteem or anxiety. I suddenly realized what could have been, had I taken one another path. It could have been great. But I didn’t go for it. And what I ended up with instead, is terrific as well. So, even when I failed, I was blessed.

But then I realized another thing. I have never failed God. It’s not really possible to let down an omniscient being, who knows all I am and do even before I do it. So He knew what I would choose (and why) and prepared me a blessing. And also blessed my by letting me see what could have been. (I still have to work out what sort of blessing is that…)

However, I’m only so far. As if yet, I do not know how satisfied God will be to me in the end. If I get there, He will be. And to get there, there’s only one thing to do. The thing that has kept me on the path where I have got all these blessings.

1. To seek truth, which is to seek God, who is truth.
2. To stick to that and act accordingly.
3. And when this fails, start over from the first point.

This is what is meant by: “Today, if you hear His voice, do not harder your hearts in rebellion.”

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